Wake Up You Sleeper

I was getting comfortable.

I felt like I had done enough, and for the last month or two, I began to count the weeks, ready to be home and free of the responsibility of teaching.

Then God shook me.

Somewhere along the line, somehow, my experience became less about growing in my faith and seeking God's plan, and more about getting through teaching. I threw my whole self into getting through the text book and making sure the kids were learning and passing their tests. It was more about what I could do, than what God wanted to do through me. I was thinking about the exciting places I was going to travel and the things I could experience, and not seeking God's heart of service. I read my Bible less and less everyday, until I was relying on staff prayer and Church to get my time with Jesus.

Until last week, when I went to Botswana on an outreach with a group from my church. It was a great group of people and the Holy Spirit did some amazing work in our hearts and in the community of Mahalaype. But something in me was clearly wrong.  I was reminded in a very miserable and painful way that my own effort is not enough. I was so broken and had to relearn reliance on God. From the beginning of the trip I was really struggling with my joy. I have this thing where I really want to be happy. Doesn’t everybody? But I put emotional happiness at such an importance in my life, where it becomes an idol. (Jeremiah 17:9) Happiness and ease aren't a guarantee on this earth, but God does promise joy. (Romans 15:13, Psalms 16:11, John 15:11)  And I know exactly who wanted to steal my joy. John 10:10 says, “The thief (the Devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Because whether we like to recognize it, or pretend like everything is okay in the world, there is a spiritual war raging. 

(2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Ephesians 6:11-17, 2 Thessalonians 3:3, Romans 8:37)

And the Lord is telling me, WAKE UP! 

"Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Be very careful, then, how you live- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

Ephesians 5: 15-17

Through my trip to Botswana, God really yanked me back from my selfishness. And although it was painful, I am so glad He did.

The process was not fun, and I am still not enjoying it, but know that the Lord disciplines those that He loves, for our own good. (Hebrews 12:4-13)

Now that school has started again and the kids are here, my eyes are being opened again to so many needs around me. I had been growing complacent. Things were just the way they were. There is so much poverty and brokenness, that at some point, I just began to accept it. And become numb to the needs of others.

Through this experience, God has shown me that my comfort is not the most important thing in life. Looking around and really seeing others, noticing their desires, and allowing God to use me to show the love of Jesus, that is what life is about. 

Land of Contrast

In one of my earliest posts, I described my weekends as lazy and relaxing, which I find ridiculously funny now, considering very few fall under either category.

But don't think I am complaining. These last few months have been so exciting, between my first African wedding, to flying to Cape Town visiting a friend studying abroad at UCT. Every week is full of fresh new experiences, and challenges. In the beginning I feared I would be bored of the routine of teaching. But living here, that has not been the case.

Here are some highlights:

Heritage Day: One of my favorite aspects of South Africa is its fascinating culture and history. The Xhosa people, originally the San, are the only truly indigenous people group, but tribes from all over have settled in South Africa. Not to mention the mix of Europeans (mostly Dutch) that settled in the Cape, now known as Afrikaans. The country has eleven official languages, and along with that a very rich history. On this national holiday, each individual celebrates their own heritage, their part in the Rainbow Nation. Most schools take the day off, but because this year it fell right before our school holidays, the kids stayed in school. We dressed up, and the kids put on a program. Teachers taught about Tswana customs, kids sang, danced, and put on plays that we had practiced in class.

My first African wedding: I was invited to a wedding at Mama Nakidi's church, and of course I said yes! I couldn't wait to experience an authentic African wedding. Before the wedding I was warned about three things (well actually I was warned about a lot of things but mainly these three.) I was told African weddings are long, hot, and notoriously late. And they were not lying. We showed up around 10, when the wedding was supposed to start, and were put to work for a good hour and a half until the bridal party arrived. They entered with a dance (duh, this is Africa.) Next came the groom, and finally the bride. Both entered in separate cars. It's considered festive to honk your horns during a wedding. All part of the experience I guess. Now that bride and groom were down the aisle, I sat down expecting some vows and a kiss. Wrong. The pastor preached for two hours. But the funniest thing to me was that the message didn't even speak much about marriage. They even had an alter call, and prayed over people, the whole time Bride and Groom are sitting in the back waiting. Then they got to the vows. These were in Tswana so sadly I had no clue what they were saying. But both bride and groom were crying. Then I got really confused, because when it came to "you may kiss the bride," neither seemed very excited. At this point I'm wondering if this couple is even in love. Later I was told that Africans are not very keen on public displays of affection. It taught me not to enter into a foreign country's customs, thinking they have to fulfill my own pre-conceived notions, of a wedding for example.

For me the best part about the wedding was the music and the dancing. The bridal party had dozens of choreographed dances and even plays to perform. Because I had brought my camera, I was recruited to help take pictures. We drove to a beautiful garden (more honking,) and they changed out of black tux and white dress, into their traditional clothes for more pictures. Dinner was followed, of course, by more songs and dancing.

School Holidays: We had a two week spring break back in September. I was invited to spend a few days with a family from our church. Another thing I love about South Africa is the warmth of the people. It seems like half the church has offered to have me in their home and I have already stayed with quite a few. They took me to the Union Buildings in Pretoria (the nation's capital.) We had a picnic in the beautiful gardens and of course I had to get a picture with the Nelson Mandela statue. Back home at Dayspring, some of the kids who were staying with us, helped me plant a garden. For weeks we had fun watering and watching green sprouts emerge from the ground, until birds started to eat our maize (corn) and we all lost interest. The second week of school holidays we drove into Jo-burg every day for a church conference. I grew so much in my faith, and passion to see the Holy Spirit working in my life. Countries from all over the world were there and we made friends with people from all over including Australia, the Netherlands, and Samoa. And I was so excited to find a couple from Virginia!

Cape Town: A month ago, I had the amazing opportunity to fly down to Cape Town for five days to visit my friend Elsa Lang, who is studying at the University of Cape Town for a semester. She showed me some of her favorite local markets and iconic coffee shops. Cape Town is truly awe inspiring with magnificent Table Mountain situated at the heart of the city, surrounded by beautiful beaches, and loads of history. To recount everyday would take pages, but some of my favorite experiences were surfing in Muizenburg, taking the cable car up Table Mountain, exploring antique shops in Kalk Bay, Robben Island, and Bo Kaap. If you're familiar with my utter lack of athleticism, and you're questioning my ability to surf, I never said I was good. Elsa and her friend Alex helped me with the basics and I stood up a few times. Bo Kaap, though one of the major attractions when going to Cape Town, is essentially a neighborhood. After years of slavery followed by Apartheid, when the Malaysians were finally able to own their own land, they decided to each paint their house a unique and vibrant color. This area is practically set apart as their own community, with an abundance of mosques and Malaysian restaurants. Hearing passerbys speaking Arabic brought back in waves memories from living in Bahrain.

South Africa's history is as alive as the people you encounter. With all the mixed people groups, there is never a shortage of culture and history. And almost everyone I met could relate a personal story that kept me hanging on every word. South Africa has been coined the "Land of Contrast," due to its diversity of landscape, from the beaches in Cape Town and Durban, to the Magaliesburg Mountains, to the (as I am told) only true Africa in South Africa, the Wild Coast, to skyscrapers in Johannesburg, and of course the massive reserves filled with the famed "big five."

Home: In the four weeks since I have been home, I have settle into a routine of planning, teaching, grading, and spending time with the kids. The planning and grading part are really nothing exciting to tell about. I have been praying for God to give me a love for teaching, at least for my time here, and everyday I feel a bit more equipped. This last week was truly a testimony to God's grace. With final assessments and examinations pilling up, I feel a complete sense of peace, knowing that God will guide me through it all. Uncle Elijah, our other grade 4 teacher has been in Zambia for the last few weeks so yours truly was the sole teacher. It was definitely a step of responsibility for me, but has been so fulfilling and rewarding. Naledi, one of the girls in my class, asked for me to tutor her in Maths after school and some of the others followed suit. Working one on one is what I truly love. When a child finally understands and you see the pride in their face, it makes every other frustrating moment in teaching totally worth it. When I am not teaching night class, some of my favorite times are watching movies at night with the little ones in the hostel. They all love to play with my hair (sometimes relaxing, sometimes excruciatingly painful) and give me back rubs.
But this last month hasn't been all work. Last weekend we went hiking on a friends land and were able to see a beautiful view from the top of the Magaliesburg Mountains. Two weekends ago we helped to marshal a race at Sun City. (If you have ever seen the movie Blended with Adam Sandlar and Drew Barrymore, it is the resort from that movie.) Afterwards we got free lunch and were able to wander around the resort.

Two more weeks until summer holidays, so we are all digging in with final assessments and wrapping up the last few chapters of the text books. This upcoming week we are taking the grade 4s on a fieldtrip to go hiking, which they have been looking forward to for weeks, and next Saturday some friends will be celebrating Thanksgiving to give me a much missed taste of America. Thank you for all your prayers and love!

Nicole

Phillipians 1:2 "Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."

Desires of Whose Heart?

Psalm 27:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart."

Do you really believe that? That God will really give you the desires of your heart? I had become very good and choosing which things I thought I could take care of without God's help. But if you give it all to God, He will satisfy YOUR desires. He did make you after all and He knows every part of you. And maybe, just maybe, if He made you, the only way for the desires of your heart to be completely fulfilled, are for them to align with the desires of His heart.

The Lord wants the best for my life and He has proved that to me in this last month.

You might think taking a Gap Year would be a year of giving. But the truth is I am constantly receiving. I am learning and understanding how to live such a fuller and richer life.

The beginning of this year for me, and every other high school senior, was filled with decisions. You have to decide where you want to go to college and what you want to study. Which is all very exciting. But I became paralyzed by this fear of a life of monotony. Every stage of life seemed like planning for the next stage. Go to high school so you can get into a good college. Then go to University so you can get a decent job. Then maybe some time for love and marriage. Until you get too busy with a job and kids. Then you send them to school so they can repeat the process.

Where is the living in that? Where is the time to simply enjoy and thank God for creating you?
(disclaimer: I'm not saying this is the truth. I'm just saying these were my fears.)

As ridiculous as this sounds, life after high school seemed stripped of excitement. I was thinking the classic cliche, my life is over. The route of college, marriage, job, kids seemed like it left no room for adventure. I didn't want to count down until weekends and holidays. I didn't want to live my year only to enjoy the weeks off from work.

 I wanted to experience freedom, spontaneity, and God's plans.

But I think I understand now. Life really is not all about work and money. Work should be something you are passionate about. And it should be a means to the end of glorifying God. And that is where the adventure is found. Living your life for eternal impact on the Kingdom of God.

And the change you make does not have to be a drastic change. It probably won't be. I probably won't change the world or save thousands of lives. But all the glory goes to God anyways so why does it matter? Be willing for God to use you in whatever capacity He desires, and in turn He will bless you so abundantly. If we wait on God and His plans, life will be an adventure.

Isaiah 40:31 "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

1 Corinthians 2:9 "But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him”

Proverbs 16:3-4 "Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established. The Lord has made everything for its purpose, even the wicked for the day of trouble."

I'm not saying that a life lived for the Lord will be easy. But I can promise it will be an adventure and it will be anything but boring.

These were my struggles. And everyones are different. But hopefully what I have learned can encourage somebody reading this.

I always kind of assumed that if I gave me life completely to serve God that I would miss out on too much. But that is so not true. Delight yourself in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of YOUR heart. Who better to receive blessings from than the creator and orchestrator of the entire universe?

He wants to use you in ways that fit your personality. I love to travel and I LOVE experiencing new cultures and how different people do everyday life. So here I am. How can He use you through your passions?

Nicole

Moments

Do you ever wish you could save a moment in time?

Sure we keep journals, take pictures, and try our best to save the memory. But a moment is so much more than that. In a moment, you feel. Some moments are filled with the thoughts of everyday life. What to wear. What to eat. What do people think of me? Other moments can be filled with such triumphant joy or quiet contentedness. And still there are the moments you experience something that changes your perspective on life, at least for a moment. Maybe you witness true suffering or poverty and swear you'll never be greedy or want more again. But then you are greedy. And you do want more. I have to wonder why that is? Why does such sincere conviction to be selfless and help those in need, fade away so quickly?

I've got a theory. It's because we can save a memory, but we really can't save a moment. You can remember seeing a family who lives in a house the size of your spacious walk-in-closet. But you too often forget the way it felt to put yourself in their shoes. Somehow the conviction to go out and help the poor and save the lost is gone. Because when the moment is over, so is the feeling, and your urgency to be the hands and feet of Jesus fades away to little nagging in the back of your mind.

Even here, surrounded by poverty and broken families. It's easy for me to forget. I get excited about the possibility of flying to Cape Town, or seeing Victoria Falls. I think about my plans for the weekend or how exhausted I am. And sometimes I put the kids' needs on the back burner of my mind. Because I'm human.

In this past month, I have been overwhelmed by moments of blessing. So many moments I am filled with joy by the people who have been put in my life.

On Fridays, an Afrikaans woman from the community comes to teach art to the kids. This week was a simple project so she gave me the materials to teach my grade 4s. We had worship music playing and the kids wanted me to play the same song over and over. The chorus goes, "I'm not longer a slave to sin, I am a child of God." Hearing the kids declaring these words over their own lives was so powerful. If I could, I would save that moment.

I have also experienced moments that I don't want to soon become numb to. I've seen children whose parents do not even look after them on the weekends. Parents who allow awful things to happen to their children.

In these moments I have a feeling of sorrow over their need for safety and love, but my own conviction and resolve to commit my life to helping the orphaned will soon pass. Only a conviction that comes from the Holy Spirit will never fade.

Join me in praying that our hearts will be burdened for the lost and vulnerable. Children especially. Pray with me that God will turn a moment of sorrow and empathy into a lifelong conviction to seek and save the lost.

Luke 19:10 "For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost."

Nicole

In His Presence

Hello friends!

Three weeks in, and already time is flying. 

I've settled into a schedule of morning staff prayers, teaching, tea time, teaching, lunch, teaching, and playing with the kids after school. And of course grading and planning classes fits in there somewhere. It's safe to say that is my least favorite part of the job.

Now that the newness has worn off and I've settled into a schedule, some of that excitement from living halfway across the world has worn off as well. But what hasn't worn off and I pray I don't loose sight of is the excitement, peace, and fullness I feel in the presence of the Lord. And the African people sure know how to approach the Lord in prayer and worship. Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among you." I've learned so much about enjoying time communicating with God. Prayer isn't a chore. It has the power to knit your heart closer to God and closer to the people you are praying with.

Our grade 4 teacher, and my dad for the year as he tells people, flew home to Zambia a few weeks ago when his father was in the hospital. I was asked to take over his class, at least for the week while he was gone. I was so excited for the opportunity to do more and make an impact at the school, but boy did I not know what I was getting myself into! Teaching is hard. And draining. And sometimes just plain frustrating. The kids in my class are absolutely amazing. They each have so much personality and I have loved getting to know each one individually. But man are they a handful. I have learned so much more about kids and people in general and I now have endless amounts of respect for teachers. 

I've learned a lot about patience from these kids. In my own strength I can't love them the way they need to be loved. I have to pray for God to give me eyes to see them as He does. Kim and Elijah told me some of these kids' stories and when I heard what they have been through, God told me that I need to see how far they've come rather than letting myself get frustrated with their misbehaving.

I've also learned that yelling gets you nowhere. I had a grade 3 girl from the room next door tell me she kept hearing me yell "BOYS AND GIRLS, QUIET!" all day and I knew it was time to try a new strategy. The best way to keep a class quiet is to always have something to occupy them. Also sweets. These kids will do anything for sweets. 

Since Elijah has been home from Zambia, he's taken back Natural Science, Social Science, and Life Skills for the grade 4s. My schedule is still not set in stone, but for now I have been helping with English and Computer in the grade 1-5 classes, and have continued Math and English in the grade 4 classroom. 

My heart is so full being around these kids everyday. It's impossible to walk past the grade R (kindergarten) classroom without an army of little ones wrapping their arms around your legs. Money was raised for a Jungle Jim to be put in and it was just finished today. The excitement on their faces was priceless as they took turns on it. 

Weekends are my favorite here. Most Saturdays are just lazy. We do our laundry, watch movies, and hang out. Only a few kids stay so I have been able to make better relationships with them one on one. And on the weekends I can spend more time with my "parents for the year." Kim and Elijah are amazing examples of what it is to live every day with faith and dependence on God. And I love hearing Kim's stories of her adventures around the world before she settled at Dayspring. 

We drive about 45 minutes to get to church but it is so worth it. The people are genuine about their faith and their love for the Lord. And the worship is absolutely amazing. Most of the people at the church are Afrikaans, and I just love listening to their accents. 

The great thing about South Africa is that it is such a melting pot. Most of the kids at Dayspring speak Setswana or Zulu, but there are 11 official languages, including English, Afrikaans, and 9 tribal languages. People from all over Africa move to South Africa, because is has relatively more job opportunities. Elijah has started a bible study with a group of people from Malawi on Tuesday nights, where we are able to go and share the Word of God together.

I'm so thankful for friends and family who have been praying over my life and over Dayspring. I can feel the hand of God working everyday in my life as I never have before. And I truly believe it's because of your prayers.

Specifically I'd ask you to pray for the kids taking their exams next week. These exams determine whether the kids move on to the next grade, and the passing mark is about 30-40%. Many of the kids come from families that haven't spoken encouragement into their lives and we need to speak that power into their lives until they believe it themselves. 

God is so good and the work He is doing in these kids' lives is amazing. Hearing testimonies from the grade 9s about how the Lord has saved them from their past and given them a hope and a future is so encouraging for my own life. There is one girl in particular who came from an abusive family, and has now been able to bring the Word of God into her home, and her father has been open to talking about Jesus. God can indeed bring light out of darkness! 

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!

Nicole 

Meet Dayspring

After school chillin'.

(that is until 40 more kids showed up wanting in)

Embracing dusty feet.

Nothing like a good nose-scrunching smile.

It's amazing how these kids' faces light up when you show them their picture and tell them how beautiful they are. I have taken for granted the adults who have lifted me up and spoken encouragement into my life. Most of these kids just don't hear that at home.

 Children need so so so many life-giving words spoken into their lives.

The view from our room. We're just coming out of winter and anxiously awaiting rain.

My side of the room, complete with pictures from home, and my favorite VT hat/lampshade.

This is Otshepang. But we call him Boy. He got a little carried away with pottery.

Meet Ivan. (his name was the only one I could remember for the first two days)

And finally meet my grade 4s! 

New beginnings

Hi friends!

I am now on day four in South Africa and already loving it! It is impossible to not feel at home and loved among these remarkably warm people. The atmosphere at Dayspring school is hard to describe without being experienced. I had been trying to think of one word to sum it up, and immediately the word passion came to mind. The staff at Dayspring, and especially the children, live out everyday with so much passion and excitement. If one of them starts to sing a song, everyone else joins in and it turns into a school wide dance circle.

I could list so many instances of this, but one of my favorites was the other night with some of the older girls. I came into their room to hang out, and they wanted to show me a song. After they were done with that song, they didn't stop. They just continued dancing around the room, worshipping, and waving their Bibles in the air. At the end we all stood in a circle and everyone prayed at the same time. I opened my eyes to look around and every single girl was shouting praises and exalting the Lord at the top of her lungs. I had done this with the staff in the mornings, but doing this with middle school girls, without any prompting, was just amazing. I think my favorite part about Dayspring in this first week is their freedom of expression to sing, dance, and worship all the time. Here's to hoping some of their rhythm rubs off on me.

The second thing I love is that Dayspring operates like one big family. The kids stay at Dayspring from Monday to Friday, some even staying through the weekend. Most of the staff live in houses on the property. For many of the kids, Dayspring is a safe haven from the real world. The kids love each other like siblings, and it shows in the way they treat one another. I am beyond thankful for the way each and every person has greeted me like family.

As far as what I have been doing here, I came expecting to be a teacher's aid/tutor, but what I have actually been doing is a bit different. I have been working with some of the school teachers who are taking online college classes, teaching them the basics of computers, so that they can submit their assignments online. I have also been working to install games on computers for the lower grades so they can get used to typing, and using a computer. Several old windows computers were donated to the school, and they needed to be plugged in and set up. I have also been reading with the Grade 1s. Most of my time though has been spent playing with the kids and getting used to how everything runs here at Dayspring.

Next week I will be teaching the kids how to use the computer games and also teaching the teachers in each class so that eventually they won't need me. I will also be teaching English to the Grade 4s. After we see how that goes, I may be able to take on all of Grade 4 subjects and free up the interim teacher, Uncle Elijah, to continue with maintenance and construction around the school. Please continue to pray for Dayspring and for the Lord's provision in the lives of these children!

Thank you so much for all your support and prayers!

Pictures to come soon!

Love, Nicole