Wake Up You Sleeper

I was getting comfortable.

I felt like I had done enough, and for the last month or two, I began to count the weeks, ready to be home and free of the responsibility of teaching.

Then God shook me.

Somewhere along the line, somehow, my experience became less about growing in my faith and seeking God's plan, and more about getting through teaching. I threw my whole self into getting through the text book and making sure the kids were learning and passing their tests. It was more about what I could do, than what God wanted to do through me. I was thinking about the exciting places I was going to travel and the things I could experience, and not seeking God's heart of service. I read my Bible less and less everyday, until I was relying on staff prayer and Church to get my time with Jesus.

Until last week, when I went to Botswana on an outreach with a group from my church. It was a great group of people and the Holy Spirit did some amazing work in our hearts and in the community of Mahalaype. But something in me was clearly wrong.  I was reminded in a very miserable and painful way that my own effort is not enough. I was so broken and had to relearn reliance on God. From the beginning of the trip I was really struggling with my joy. I have this thing where I really want to be happy. Doesn’t everybody? But I put emotional happiness at such an importance in my life, where it becomes an idol. (Jeremiah 17:9) Happiness and ease aren't a guarantee on this earth, but God does promise joy. (Romans 15:13, Psalms 16:11, John 15:11)  And I know exactly who wanted to steal my joy. John 10:10 says, “The thief (the Devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Because whether we like to recognize it, or pretend like everything is okay in the world, there is a spiritual war raging. 

(2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Ephesians 6:11-17, 2 Thessalonians 3:3, Romans 8:37)

And the Lord is telling me, WAKE UP! 

"Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you. Be very careful, then, how you live- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

Ephesians 5: 15-17

Through my trip to Botswana, God really yanked me back from my selfishness. And although it was painful, I am so glad He did.

The process was not fun, and I am still not enjoying it, but know that the Lord disciplines those that He loves, for our own good. (Hebrews 12:4-13)

Now that school has started again and the kids are here, my eyes are being opened again to so many needs around me. I had been growing complacent. Things were just the way they were. There is so much poverty and brokenness, that at some point, I just began to accept it. And become numb to the needs of others.

Through this experience, God has shown me that my comfort is not the most important thing in life. Looking around and really seeing others, noticing their desires, and allowing God to use me to show the love of Jesus, that is what life is about.